Hi sweetheart, I think its time for you to respond to your father’s father. You are stronger now and can put him and that side of the family at peace where you no longer fear him or your behavior toward him. The black community has forced children to have relationships with abusive family members because they are family. This has caused a lot of mental illness and a break down in the family. A child can not comprehend how someone is abusive to them and then they say, ‘I love you.’ 1 + 1 = 2 when it starts adding up to 8, then Houston we have a problem. Children should never be required to fix broke parents. They are not skilled or trained for this. The behavior is validated by other family members. This is INSANITY! It has created ‘child-adults’ who form immature relationships and marry to fix fundamental fissures within themselves. Did God allow or make this happen? NO! God is a loving God with crazy children. Your mantra should be, ‘I will not reflect mother’s or father’s pain or the hell they grew up in on my life.’ Angry father’s produce angry children, there is no getting around that. Punk mama’s produce punk children and there is no getting around that! Enjoy your wholeness by not being around broke people. You are not their savior. Jesus is their savior. How can anyone accuse you of not being a good Christian when they have never darken the door of a church or cracked a bible. When they start living the life then they can think about questioning yours. Let them know you live by Grace not by Law and especially man’s law! God loves you and so do I, now love yourself and stay away from crazy people. HERE IS SOME SUGGESTIONS TO WHAT YOU CAN SAY IF YOU ARE ASKED WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW CALLING? YOUR RESPONSE – I’m just now in a place where I’m whole enough in my spirit, soul and body. I have matured. I was a child and a victim of my parents divorce. Now, if I have offended you by calling to express love during your time of grief please forgive me. NOW IF HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FATHER, TELL HIM THIS, ‘IT IS NOT THE TIME OR THE OCCASION FOR SUCH A TALK. IF HE PERSISTS THEN REPEAT THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE FOR THAT. IF HE SAYS WELL I THINK IT IS, LET HIM KNOW THAT’S FINE FOR HIM BUT NOT FOR YOU. REMIND HIM IT TAKES TWO TO COME INTO AGREEMENT AND TO HAVE A CONVERSATION. BE GUARDED WHAT YOU TELL HIM BECAUSE IT WILL GO BACK TO YOUR FATHER. KEEP LEADING HIM BACK TO ‘I’M CALLING ABOUT YOU NOT ME AND THE NON -REPRESENTATIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SON. I’M WELL AND WANTED TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING? NOW LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLNESS AND LOVE GREATER. ENJOY THE JOURNEY OF LIFE.