Looking at the word ‘relationship’ it doesn’t seem so animus possidendi meaning the intention of possessing. Is that really the intent of a relationship to possess someone or be possessed by the relationship and someone possessing you . The word itself implies that you are in a ship together where neither people desire to escape. It doesn’t seem to give specifics on the type of relations, familial, friends or lovers. Or whether the relations are healthy, viable, and loving. This word seems to affect our daily lives on a continuos bases and no one seemingly understands it except we are getting in and out of some kind of ‘ship’ daily, weekly, monthly, yearly etc… The bottom line is that we need a ‘ship’ to feel that we exist, and that we are a part of something meaningful.

We know that grammatically it is used as a noun. A noun is a person, place or thing, so it – the relationship takes on it’s own ‘identity’ that is separate or equal to your own identity. Now the definition is more obtrusive in our life experiences, they can make or beak us and hopefully not at the same time. One of  the meanings or preferred usage of relationship is the state of connectedness between people (especially regarding an emotional connection.) The connections can be by blood, marriage, adoption or  a state involving mutual dealings between people, and parties.

What should we get out of a ‘relationship?’ You, I believe a big part of any ‘relationship’ is self-definition. I do not mean that  the relationship should define you but that the relationship should reflect the best of you. You should never go into a relationship for an identity. Example would be wanting to marry a rich person so you can be a rich person there by benefiting an identity from the relationship. My belief is that you come to the relationship with your own identity thereby adding to a relationship instead of subtracting from it. Your relationships should never define you, your self worth should always define the relationship as healthy. If you have an unhealthy self image it will reflect in your relationships. Healthy you will allow you to enter into a healthy relationship.

There are many type of  relationships, but none of them are created by God to destroy, hurt or maimed. The first relationship was God and Adam in the book of Genesis. God who is the source of all Love reached out to His creation in Love  and to have that love returned back to Himself so we would not be lacking in any area of our lives. All subsequent relationships were between men and women who reflected God’s love as long as they were in the presence of the source of that Love which we know to be God. Types of relationships that people get mixed up in when they cross the barriers of the intent of that relationship. For example: Friendship relationships, you share practically everything except your spouses, this is where the line is crossed and perverted. Husband and wife relationships, they are one as the bible declares but the barrier is broken when incest is perpetrated on the children. When people cross the lines of set relationships great harm is done to the one who has been breached and their  intended victim.

You should know that a healthy relationship begins with emotionally healthy people unless the relationship is one of a care-giver in the relationship. Relationships are designed to build to increase your borders, to expand your horizons. If this is not occurring then there is a grievous problem in the relationship and both or all parties are set on the road to disaster.

What happens to these victims in these relationships is that they in turn create additional disastrous relationships till most barriers have been beached and everything is acceptable. This breaching, some call it survival,  leads to selfish, me only relationships of greed, lust and pride because God has been left out of the relationship. Remember God’s Love is unconditional Love that gives, it is the prime source of all Love. That’s why Love can heal, prosper, protect, bless and deliver making one whole in the relationship. We know this Love also as salvation which has been provided by Jesus to us.

Lastly any relationship should be allowed to show or expose the qualities in you for self evaluation and perfection. Know who you are in the relationship. For example, you may need to be more giving, or loving or  have more patience to make the relationship viable, productive and sustainable to life’s trials and troubles. Good relationships celebrate you and cover your faults in love so that the Glory of the Lord can be revealed in you. Even the bad ones that you have ‘left ‘ can be used as fertilizer so that you will bloom in the next. Get out and stay out of the bad relationships and don’t use the excuse God has you there. There is only one Holy Ghost and no Holy Ghost Juniors. Change comes from the inside out and never from the outside in. Above all be accountable to the role you have played in all your relationships so that you can get off the merry-go-round of bad relationships and stop picking the same kind of person to to take the ride of disaster again. Remember everything is not allowed in the ‘ship’ or else it will sink and go down….

Much love,
Pastor Harris


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