How Can I Love Someone Who Hates Me, Speaks Ill of Me, and Wishes Me Evil Things?



First, God does not want you in a toxic relationship. You may have put yourself in one, or have been born into one, either way–God will deliver you just like he delivered the children of Israel out of Egypt when they were treated badly. WHY?


John 10:10

Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).



But it is possible to Love someone like that. You personally can’t, but God can Love through you to them.


Philippians 4:13
Amplified Bible (AMP)
13 I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].


What’s stopping you from loving them is your emotions. God never told you to lead your life through your emotions. Your emotions are your warning signals that something is wrong. You don’t drive your car with just the turning signals. If you did you would not go very far. Your turning signals express your intent (the direction you are going in) not your acceleration or destination. So stop living your life in your emotions. God said live in Him, not your feelings.


John 15:4
Amplified Bible (AMP)
Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.


Your emotions were not designed for you to live your life in. When you do, you are misusing them. Anything that you ‘use’ in the wrong way is misusing it’s purpose. I call this abuse. So you are actually abusing yourself because the one that you won’t forgive is not feeling the pain, you are the one feeling the pain through your emotions. God said walk in the spirit so that you would not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.


Galatians 5:16
Amplified Bible (AMP)
16 But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).

The message bible says it like this:

Galatians 5:16
The Message (MSG)
16-18My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?


God created you to Love like Him. You are made in His Image.


1 John 4:7
Amplified Bible (AMP)
7Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know and understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him].


But you choose not to. You are a spirit that God gave the ability to choose, and to choose correctly to help you. Emotions can be toxic and cause disease and sickness, like  self-inflicted wounds.

Deuteronomy 30:19
Amplified Bible (AMP)
19 I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live



People are, in general, broken vessels. When you try to make them hold you (your spirit, soul, and body) they fail and break you in some way. This is because you gave them the power to do so. God created you to be held by Him and only in Him can you be complete. Stop trying to make men and women do God’s job.


Jeremiah 18:1-10
King James Version (KJV)
1 The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying,

2 Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.

3 Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.

4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

7 At what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, and to pull down, and to destroy it;

8 If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them.

9 And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it;

10 If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them.


The message bible reads like this:



Jeremiah 18:1-10
The Message (MSG)
Jeremiah 18

To Worship the Big Lie

1-2 God told Jeremiah, “Up on your feet! Go to the potter’s house. When you get there, I’ll tell you what I have to say.” 3-4So I went to the potter’s house, and sure enough, the potter was there, working away at his wheel. Whenever the pot the potter was working on turned out badly, as sometimes happens when you are working with clay, the potter would simply start over and use the same clay to make another pot. 5-10Then God’s Message came to me: “Can’t I do just as this potter does, people of Israel?” God’s Decree! “Watch this potter. In the same way that this potter works his clay, I work on you, people of Israel. At any moment I may decide to pull up a people or a country by the roots and get rid of them. But if they repent of their wicked lives, I will think twice and start over with them. At another time I might decide to plant a people or country, but if they don’t cooperate and won’t listen to me, I will think again and give up on the plans I had for them.


Now, just LOVE ON PURPOSE. Understand that through loving you are Greater than the one that hurts you because:


1 John 4:4
Amplified Bible (AMP)
4 Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.


The One (GOD) that is in you is Love:


1 John 4:8
Amplified Bible (AMP)
8He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.

Much love,
Pastor Harris


53 thoughts on “How Can I Love Someone Who Hates Me, Speaks Ill of Me, and Wishes Me Evil Things?

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  4. One thing I am trying out is a form of praying for those people who are hurting me and doing wrong things in general. Instead of praying in a self-centered way by asking for them to change I instead ask for understanding in the situation and also for their highest good. That is REALLY hard in that it goes contrary to the idea that they deserve punishment. But likely my praying for their highest good and their relief of suffering may actually cause a transformation in them. But if not then at least I have some peace!

    Not everyone changes but by asking God for a different perspective often relationships CAN get better. My sister and I have had a very rocky relationship and for a little while I had to cut off contact due to angry accusations that seemingly came out of nowhere. I asked for God’s help and eventually things got much better as she reached out to me and it turned out that she was acting out because of misinterpretations of my behavior. I also misinterpreted her behavior as well but there was a piece of information that I was unaware of because it had not been communicated to me. We are working on having better communication.

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  12. Amara Snell

    What an awesome and powerful word cousin!!! This blog can shift so many different atmospheres in the realm of God because it really defines His love for us and how we should love one another!!! After reading this blog I see even more clearly!!!! Kingdom Blessings!!!!


    1. Wow!Thank You Jesus! I’m so honored to know that what the Holy Spirited inspired me to write helped you in understanding and seeing clearly God’s Love for us. I started praying 3yrs ago for understanding to help God’s people know the Will of God for their lives and to see that you get it… amazes me about the goodness of the Lord. I love you very much dear heart and thanks again for the graciously, encouraging words. It means a lot!!!


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